Grateful Thoughts or a Dark Cloud?

My weekend was spent with grateful thoughts and a happy heart.  The news from the Jenny LifeFlight Fundraiser had been wonderful, with $20,000 having been raised to continue this important service to rural Queensland.  What outstanding support from the community!

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I had, also received some wonderfully positive health news about a close family member.  How lucky are we to have wonderful doctors taking care of all our health needs?  Extremely lucky!!

Grateful thoughts and a happy heart!

It was a very hot weekend in Brisbane, making it necessary to use my air conditioner in the house for the first time for the season.  And speaking of seasons – Christmas – my favourite holiday of the year is fast approaching and so some Christmas get togethers were inked into my diary.  My mind is already thinking of special food to be prepared and some gifts have been purchased.

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Grateful thoughts and a happy heart!

I went to bed looking forward to Monday which was to be filled with a favourite activity of catching up with a friend, watching her 4 year old have his swimming lesson and sharing lunch together.

Grateful thoughts and a happy heart!

Why then, on waking, had my perspective changed overnight?   Everywhere I looked around my home I could only see mess – when in fact my bedroom had remained so clean and tidy for a whole week.  Why could I only focus on the ants that had invaded my kitchen bench, rather than the beautiful watercolour painted for me by a dear friend that I didn’t see enough of but thought of every time I looked at that beautiful painting?

Dark cloud suspended over my head!

When I looked out of my window, I noticed a combination of the dirt on the glass that I just need to clean and the garden that badly needed watering but already the sun was too high for that.  Why was I not able to focus on the increased number of butterflies, fluttering from tree to tree or the birds splashing in the birdbath?

Dark cloud suspended over my head!

depression-cloud

Sitting typing this morning, I can feel my feet already starting to swell with the heat of the day, instead of the comfort and support my office chair gives my back.  I see that the pictures hung on my walls seemed crooked – every one of them – when I should be noticing the beautiful artwork done by my talented artist son?

Dark cloud suspended over my head!

I feel annoyed with myself that I didn’t get my prescriptions refilled over the weekend.  And why didn’t I fill up the car?  Now these things have to be done this morning before I can go anywhere and I already feel tired and defeated!

Dark cloud suspended over my head!

This is MY depression!

It has no base in reality.  It comes with no warning.  It has no triggers.  It has no reason.  It just comes and it takes away my motivation and perspective.  It takes away my desire and purpose.  It takes away my security and my joy.

Dark cloud suspended over my head!

I recently discovered a wonderful Facebook page called The Mighty.  I have found the words shared on it to be helpful and true.  I could particularly relate to the following article – 6 Subtle Signs of Depression You Should Never Ignore.

With the help of my health professionals, I am learning to recognise these signs and remember that with time and maybe a different circumstance and the right medication, the dark cloud will disappear and I will be able to see the beauty and enjoy the beauty and know the beauty and enjoy the beauty and participate in the beauty …. of my life.

So with that in mind, I am showering, dressing, filling my car with petrol, getting my scripts filled, meeting my friend and her little swimmer, enjoying a nice lunch AND maybe even catching up with a different friend who has returned home after spending the last 3 weeks travelling in China!

Grateful thoughts and a happy heart!

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Mandy

Hi, I'm Mandy! Wandering my way through life using words. Family and friends. Connection and community. I care. I write. I share. I post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and if you'd like receive updates via email please click HERE.

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