How are you getting on this week?
This was part of a text I received from BossBoy this morning. Immediately, I thought – How lucky am I to have sons that know enough and care enough to even ask that question?
Truth be told I’m still struggling. I replied that I felt as if I was treading water. He replied that at least I wasn’t under the water at the deep end like I had been last week! And you know what? He is right! I am better than last week but I am still not good.
The feeling of just keeping my head above water is extremely tiring. And to be honest, sometimes I do think about letting the water engulf me and having everything stop. The relief of never having to make another decision; of feeling the necessity to apologise for my existence; feeling a burden to all and sundry and the worry of which bill to pay first. It’s constant and it bares down on me – heavily!
It only takes a text from one of my boys or a read of the lovely Memories some of you wrote about Adrian in my last post to lift my mood enough to attempt to do the next right thing.