It’s A Well Worn Path I Travel.

How are you getting on this week?  

This was part of a text I received from BossBoy this morning.  Immediately, I thought – How lucky am I to have sons that know enough and care enough to even ask that question?

Truth be told I’m still struggling.  I replied that I felt as if I was treading water.  He replied that at least I wasn’t under the water at the deep end like I had been last week!  And you know what?  He is right!  I am better than last week but I am still not good.

The feeling of just keeping my head above water is extremely tiring.  And to be honest, sometimes I do think about letting the water engulf me and having everything stop.  The relief of never having to make another decision; of feeling the necessity to apologise for my existence; feeling a burden to all and sundry and the worry of which bill to pay first.  It’s constant and it bares down on me – heavily!

It only takes a text from one of my boys or a read of the lovely Memories some of you wrote about Adrian in my last post to lift my mood enough to attempt to do the next right thing.

 

Mandy

Hi, I'm Mandy! Wandering my way through life using words. Family and friends. Connection and community. I care. I write. I share. I post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and if you'd like receive updates via email please click HERE.

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