Tomorrow, on Thursday 14 April 2016, it will be the 7th anniversary since my husband, Adrian, died after suffering for many years with cancer. I feel, in some ways that I need to apologise for posting so much of my grief over the last few weeks but I also think that this is my blog about my thoughts and feelings, therefore I can’t not write about it. This year, I seem to be feeling sadness with an intensity, like no other year since his death in 2009. I can not shake it off and have come to the point where I am just going with the flow …. of the tears, mostly. I believe that I am finding, this the 7th year so hard because this the first year that I have grieved for my husband, without the assistance of anti-depression medication. (You can read about my reason for stopping my meds HERE.) So, maybe the sadness and loneliness is actually real, for the very first time! It has consumed me – morning, noon and night for almost a month now and most of my posts have reflected this. I am so tired and empty, I have found that my creative juices have waned and I only have my gut feelings to lay on the page. Hopefully, this will subside over the next few days/weeks, as my mind, body and heart are able to rest. Anyway, what I wanted to say is this …. If you are over hearing about my sadness, please just scroll past my posts for the next few days and come back and visit me in a week or so, for something a bit more uplifting.
Now on to today’s piece of music.
Adrian was a piano man! He played, really well and he taught really well, too. It was a tough decision to choose between Billy Joel’s Piano Man and Elton’s Your Song. Both would have been equally appropriate.
I chose Your Song because this was in fact Our Song! He played it to me and for me all the time and often I would sing while he played. As soon as it begins I am immediately with him. I am so grateful to have shared his musical gift. Today, I am sharing music from my broken heart!
Your Song – Elton John.