Today I am diverting away from my original goal of always trying to write positive and mostly uplifting posts because today I feel angry and defeated!

To set the scene, most of my readers know that I have been struggling with anxiety and depression in a most debilitating way for me, of late.  It manifests as avoidance of living a full and productive life and ends up with me crawling back under the covers and feeling totally incapable of attending to the most mundane day to day tasks –  like preparing meals and getting the mail and showering etc.  It also makes getting to work impossible and coping with phone calls, meetings, money things, a pipe dream.  Talking to people becomes my worst nightmare.  I just can’t / don’t want want to / can’t!!!

The great thing is that I got help at the right time and am slowly coming back to the Me I want to be.  That was until yesterday!  After much thought and being guided by doctors and family and friends, I decided I should approach a government agency that I have today named  Stinkalink.  It has been a long  drawn out process that has been going on for months and the upshot of it all was that firstly, I had to use up the majority of my meagre savings before I would be considered.  Then I was considered ineligible because my condition was not stable. Next I was given a much smaller interim payment while I was being treated and stabilized but this was cancelled because I had not been told to report my weekly earnings if I did attend work. I was also required to  apply for  jobs even though I have a job that is being kept open for me and job application would be one of the worst things for my anxiety levels. I was, also, required to front up for fortnightly face to face meetings at the Stinkalink Office even though I was told I had to report and submit my paperwork online.

After returning to the doctors for more complete reports, which stated that they thought I was stabilized but was not hopeful of significant improvement for 12 – 18 months. I resubmitted my claim.  Yesterday, I was phoned and told that my claim has again been rejected because ……. wait for it ……. I was hopeful of significant improvement in 12 – 18 months (which meant hopefully building my work hours up to 20 hours per fortnight).

I have been rejected because I am trying to get better!  You read correctly – I have been rejected because I am trying to get well!

I feel so angry and defeated but I was required to face up at Stinkalink  today, for a face to face meeting, where the man on the phone yesterday said, I should see a Social Worker to help me cope.  So show up I did.  Of course, no one there knew anything about a Social Worker, who was only in on Thursday / Friday and so they would give them my phone number.  I was also told that my current benefit would be cut because I was earning too much in the fortnight – I am working a sum total of 8 hours per fortnight but that is apparently too many hours.

Next I asked why I hadn’t been given a Health Concession card – only to be told I had been issued with one on the 3 October – but they had forgotten to notify me!!!  Do you realise how many doctor & psychologist appointments I’ve had since then????  Not to mention prescriptions from the chemist!!  The solution, apparently, is for me to go back to each place and request a refund.  So I began with the Chemist, who promptly printed off a list a mile long and said to take it back to Stinkalink which I did and I had to fill out another form to ask for  consideration.

So today I am finished with Stinkalink and I will reassess whether I will attempt to lodge a 3rd claim but today I am finished!  I have retreated to the couch, in front of the TV with this …….Comfort food

And I don’t care because at least I am eating something and I am not in bed with the covers over my head!  I just need to rest and recover from a shitty day but I will not give up because you can’t kill weeds and I am Lantana!!!

Rant over – unfortunately I feel no better!


Hi, I’m Mandy! Wandering my way through life using words. Family and friends. Connection and community. I care. I write. I share. I post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and if you’d like receive updates via email please click HERE.

      1. Good lord! Those days where this is just one thing on top of another are just the worst! I suggest a snuggling into a bed early, read a book, write or watch a movie! That’s what I’m getting ready to do! Time to shut everything else out 🙂

  1. Craziness! I hope that the situation gets sorted asap. It’s unfair that our system works against those who are actively trying to help themselves!

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