Yesterday, I had an appointment with my Psychiatrist and we talked about some strategies to help me to get through the next few days which include the 8th Anniversary of Adrian’s death on the 14 April and his birthday on the 16 April. One of the things we decided on, was to actually give myself a sad day! A day when I don’t fight to keep the sadness at bey but rather just let it come, sit with it, cry, watch sad movies, listen to sad music, look at pictures that make me sad – let the sadness engulf me, really feel it and live it! I’ve decided that Friday will probably be the day for that. Being alone is probably the best for that day.
Another important thing we talked about was memories. As the years pass, I feel that there are less and less people that knew Adrian as an individual; us as a couple; the boys and us as a family. As family members pass away, there are less people to share memories with and this scares me. What if I forget about all the differences that made up my one of a kind Adrian? Are there memories that I should be keeping to share with the future grandchildren, that I don’t even know? Maybe, someone has an important memory that I don’t know about because it didn’t happen with me – but it is funny or wonderful or quirky or just eye rollingly Adrian.
With this in mind, my Psychiatrist and I came up with the idea to use my blog and FaceBook page to ask you to share anything, big or little, a memory you have of Adrian, share them with me through comments and/or photos. If you have never read my blog before and you knew Adrian, read it today. But don’t just read it – contribute a memory! It doesn’t matter if you think I already know it, it may have slipped my mind. If you didn’t know Adrian well but were at our wedding – what do you remember about that day? If you knew him before me – all the better! If your parents aren’t on FaceBook but have memories, please share them for them. Did you play footy or tennis with him? Were you in a band with him? Did he marry you? Did you live at Sem with him? Did he teach you music? Was he your friend? Did you know him through Rotary or Swimming Club? Share a memory!
Happy memories, fun memories, deep memories, sad memories, annoying memories. Help me to replenish my Adrian Memory Bank over the next few days. If you are not someone that shares on social media, I’m asking you to please make an exception just this once. I need your help with this. While talking about this in therapy yesterday, I felt a subtle lifting of the dreaded black dog that has been my companion for the last few weeks. So just imagine how much of a help it will be once the memories are shared?